This might not be legal.

No, not the pictures you're about to see: but since Denise is in New York, Zanna is blogging alone. This is new ground for Naked At Places, friends. There's no one to stop us this time. And no one to check our spelling and grammar. Woo-hooo! City on fire!

Anyway.

Tonight was holiday party time. After eating far too much delicious food (the potato thingies, the brie, and the ravioli were the big hits of the night) which we cleverly did not take pictures of, and drinking far too much wine from a box (seriously, Zanna had made it through college and grad school without ever drinking wine from a box. Now she has. And she's not real sober. Let her know if her spelling is bad, ok?) anyway, after the feast, the picture taking started. There was a family photo:

And a dance-troupe photo:
(Mary Grace, your hair looks fine!)

And then there were bluebirds, because, let's face it, it's not a party without a bluebird. This was most definitely a party, because there were two. First, a pretty bluebird:

And then we had this mess.
Nice shoes, though.

Then we had the traditional White Elephant Exchange. Blogger Zanna, being scarred by such events at her grandma's house, stayed well out of it, but Ashley was unafraid. I'm sure her candles will not go to waste--unless they were stolen away from her after Blogger Zanna left the party. If you're real lucky, you'll get an update.

It was generally agreed that Jen won the best prize of the evening.

Santa Claus was, indeed, in attendance, and rumor has it that he said he missed Denise and her dirty whorish mouth.

We Didn't Start the Friendly Fire...

But we did enjoy the turkey. Tastes Delicious. We all gathered at Kyle and Michael's for our Thanksgiving feast. Everyone had slaved over their stoves to make scrumptious dishes for each of us to consume. Though it broke her heart, Zanna even brought the 99 cent jellied cranberry sauce. It was a good thing that Michael thought ahead since Darius failed to show with the cornbread stuffing. Michael struggled in a crazy kitchen trying to get all the last minute preperation together. This included dealing with three pans of mashed potatoes from the Spuds Shepherd, Mary Grace. Josh did the great honor of carving the turkey, after all he was the only straight man in attendance.

When we finally sat down we all ate ourselves into a food coma. Everyone was such wonderful cooks that it was hard to say no to a second helping. Thanksgiving is not a sprint, it is not for the weak. It is a marathon only for the strong minded. (at this point our guest blogger, Mike was playing with an adorable beagle puppy far far away). Some of the players in our Thanksgiving adventure could not continue without a little break (this is where the strong minded thing comes into play). They crashed out on the couch. And this is a candid photo!!

After a quick break, where we all called our families, we dived into the desserts. And then the games began. For any of you out there who know our beloved Randall...beware. He does not fool around when it comes to games. Extremely cutthroat. No messing around - You have been warned. And so a game of Catchphraze ensued. Denise could smell the stupid, it was all around. First the rules, that alone took an hour to explain. And then the contraption - "Which button do I push?" And then the things that were said, "It comes from a black cow," "Little drops of poop," and of course the title of today's blog sung eloquently by Kyle "We didn't start the fire" as the clue for FRIENDLY FIRE. All good fun. Unfortunately "Ugly Betty" came on in the middle of programming and the bloggers had to flee or learn the end without knowing the beginning. Besides most of the evening was over, Randall was peacefully sleeping like papa does after a giant turkey dinner...

I am sure that if Randall were awake he would say what the plant says:

WE'RE BACK!

That's right. Zanna's back in town. After a joyous blogger reunion, Zanna and Denise lobotomized a pumpkin or two. But that wasn't the only fun they had that evening: pumpkin carving was really only a side activity to keep the competitors loose. What competitors, you ask? Why, the competitors in the Second Annual Great and Glorious Beer Pong Tournament.

Last year's champions Tim and Lisa Ann were dressed to kill and ready to decimate the competition, but they were knocked out in the early rounds. Better luck next year, Tim and Lisa Ann. At least you looked great.




Though Zanna and Mike were good enough to beat last year's champions, they choked in the semifinals, very much like the Steelers in far too many AFC Championship games. Perhaps they'll get that Beer Pong Super Bowl ring next year.

But who won the Great and Glorious Beer Pong Tournament of 2007, you ask? We the bloggers won't keep you in suspense anymore--we'll show you some familiar faces instead. That's right, the champions, the winners, the owners of bragging rights for a year, are Naked At Places' very own Denise and Flosi! Woooo!



Our third-placers were too bitter (and perhaps too tipsy) to stand on the podium, but the second place team of Adam and Brielle was more than happy to pose for a photo op with the winners.



The prize was, of course, a duck.



The duck, when asked to give its perspective on the tournament, said only: "Denise has a dirty, whorish mouth."

Help I am Lost in Ikea....

Help, it is true. My brother "Carlos" is lost in the Ikea. There have been several sightings but so far no vision of him at the checkout center. For those of you who were around last summer you will remember "Carlos" he worked crew and in the shop, while delighting us with his projector for "movie night." However on a innocent trip to Ikea I seem to have lost him. The day started out normally...entering the gigantic metropolis of urban, cheap furniture. "Carlos" was in good spirits despite the fact that we were dragging him out shopping.

We wandered into the chair and couch section - this is where it happened. He must have sat down in this or some other comfortable chair and well perhaps decided to take a little catnap. Without realizing it we must have moved on and we haven't seen him since.

Many people have written in with sightings of "Carlos" - a few have even sent in some photos that they have captured. But so far no one has been able to help him get out of the Ikea. One kind woman found this picture on her camera - it seems to show "Carlos" struggling over the map of the enormous facility. I am sure he is searching for the quickest way out - but those short cuts can be tricky. Also I recieved this photo from a family in the Dakotas that captures "Carlos" in despair over dinnerware. I can only assume that after days of wandering around the place for days he has become delusional in his search for food. Thank goodness this family took pity on him and guided him to the food court, where it is reported that he filled up on pasta and Mountain Dew.

As of the time of this post "Carlos" was said to have been spotted in the the warehouse area of the monstrous building. So close to the exit that he can probably feel the breeze on his face and the sound of cars on the freeway racing by. Hopefully soon "Carlos" will be reunited with his family who miss him. And then he can return to life as normal, but I don't think that he will be venturing into any large store anytime soon. (sorry Super WalMart)

If "Carlos" were here I am sure he would say: "Denise you have a dirty whorish mouth."

**Note all names where changed for privacy purposed***

Embrace Your "CHAPTERS"

Little Shop is Open for Business. Little Shop opened with all the normal hoopla of a Third Season Opener. And the show keeps right on rolling along. (although we desperately wish that MORE people would come and see the show - tell your friends - Randall's sparkling curtain speeches don't seem to be doing the trick). Tim and Kaitlynn, along with the rest of cast simply hang in the "somewhere thats green" room. Sometimes we do fun events like "Shiner Day" All the crew girls, desperately hoping to be like Audrey wore "shiners" It doesn't get much better then this folks - top that "uni-brow day".

The main cause of excitement seems to be whether or not the plant grows properly or if Denise can announce the right Act to start. WASTED! Despite the small size of the cast and its relative innocent outward appearance - The chapters are flying. I mean really with puppet fisting, condoms breaking and whores promoted (not to mention that the local paper quoted "Audrey likes S & M"). Starting it all off was Randall telling a reporter "When I am in Audrey, I am Audrey" - I mean really folks - Kurtis, you dirty whore - these people are giving you a run for your title. Whit would be so proud. For those of you locals - Randall and Denise have put a FABULOUS display of photography from the past two seasons in the Encore Room. You should really check it out - see if you made the wall of fame.

DRUMROLL please!!!! I know that all of you have been waiting for this moment. THE ARIZONI AWARDS! I know it was a truly delicious moment. I mean 27 nominations is alot. We captured 7 of the 13 categories we were nominated for - not too shabby for the first year. Tim was a humble winner in the category of Best Supporting Actor. He was caught on film being so gracious and appreciative at winning the award. It is rumored that Kurtis went into a jealous rage when he found out - ripping faux fur and beads from everything in sight. Sorry Bud Frump there is a new bitch in town - Jacobina!
Also in attendance was Lindsey Clayton sock puppet. She was photographed on the red carpet and everything - picture coming soon. Other winners of the evening were Tralen for direction and choreography of the "magically excessive" La Cage. Which Martha also won for costumes. WGR and Alan for musical direction and EMF for Best Supporting Actress (we won't even mention what Lindsey sock puppet did at this moment it is far to vulgar!!) And in closing a Zoni award winning closing:

Dash a Salt and Season Three...

**Horns Trumpeting***(Just imagine it as I have no idea how to add sound) ***drum roll*** Ladies and Gentlemen, let me announce to you, readers of the blog, our new blogger: Randall. While Randall has been around for a time he is now officially part of our "family" and has been accepted by Denise as an official member and contributor to "THE BLOG"....

...Ok this is Randall chiming in after a few glasses of "panty remover" provided by Caroline McPhever (she was McPhever long before Katharine McFever)..I am THRILLED and HONORED to be a be a part of the infamous..er...FAMOUS blog started by the fabulous trio of Zanna, Denise, and Flosi..ok..ok back to the story..

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I suppose that I (Denise) need to apologize for the lack of blogs during Pump Boys. It was a very busy time, no really six actors playing instruments and drinking beer on stage is a lot to handle. But to catch you up a little I will highlight some of the bigger events. First of course is the "DOLLY PARTON Look-a-Like" Contest.
There were five glorious contestants. Many prizes where handed out including: Best Assets to Ms Martha Parton; Best Overall Male to Mr. Darrel Parton; Best Overall Female to Ms Denise Parton. The evening was topped off by a duet performance by Rhetta Cupp and Chantal (who flew all the way from the Riveria just to be here on the grand country evening).


Then of course there was the Season Two Reunion Party. It was a wild gathering of alums. To all those who didn't attend you were greatly missed. The "Toast" was completed for the season and now requires choreography and props (people will be fighting to help with it now that it involves drinking cans of Bud).

SEASON THREE- bringing back the funk!
We start off our grand adventure with Little Shop of Whores..oops I mean Horrors, aka Our Special Needs Class. You think I am joking but oh no it truly is "special." I mean really we got three slutty dropout girl group wanna-be's, a small guy who needs some fashion and a hobby other then plants, a girl who secretly likes it ROUGH (but she aint tellin nobody), a tall man with multiple personalities, a Red Sox's lovin (and losin') florist shop owner. Oh did I mention that there is a puppet that thinks its real and a voice that is like "James Thunder Earl Early" (Funny how it takes two actors to pull off this little stunt - I mean you would think that one special needs case is enough- no offense Randall).












And in closing:

Princess Powers United!!

That is right the princesses were out in full force. Ella and B had been planning this since Prince Caleb's Birthday Kareoke Extravaganza - and their dreams have finally come true(Wishing on a star really does work). But sometimes dreams are not exactly the way that you imagine them. After primping and fussing over their tiaras, gloves, and diamonds they set off for the Ramada Inn. A land of untold amazement and lively townspeoples. However this was not to be. The rovering troupe of Kareoke singers no longer frequented this establishment.
The princess were perplexed and disappointed. What would they do now. But Ella and B were not to be downtrodded. Quickly finding out where the travelling troupe had gone. they were off to find the Silver Fox. A tavern of unique proportions. With a lively barman, Will. He was there with a friendly smile a lot of drinks and a number to the Dominos Pizza. But here at the Silver Fox the real fun began. KAREOKE!
The princess grabbed the list of songs and selected some to start with.Each princess took their turn with the microphone. And then they all tried some group numbers. Their rendition of All That Jazz really brought down the house (complete with Fosse moves and all). Truly fabulous. But I think that the true topper of the night was the rendition of Kelly Clarkson sung by our Princess Mandy. Luckily we have video to share this marvelous experience.

It was truly a night to end all nights and as the princess drifted back to their castle for a bit of beauty sleep they decided that this would be the first of many nights for princess' outings.

One Great Show and some BLING

It was a long awaited event. Waiting since we all met and loved our dear Miss Megan, back in Kiss Me Kate, and now it has finally happened. The hard part is deciding which event we were exactly waiting for: Micah finally performing a show or the fact that he finally proposed!!! Either way both events happened this weekend.

Saturday night Micah surprised Megan with a beautiful ring and the long awaited question. She of course said yes. She can now "officially" start planning the wedding.(No more sneaking around - thank goodness). She is beaming brighter then the ring that she nows wears on her left hand.

And tonight many of us journeyed down to The Mighty Cup coffee shop in downtown Glendale to hear the infamous Micah sing. The quaint coffee shop was the perfect setting. Micah set up outside and gave us one hell of a show. We were all enraptured with his talent and wonderful voice. Can't believe he hasn't played before now. Many of us bought CD (and he actually autographed them for us). There was even a second set after a rousing chant of "Encore" started from the eager crowd. For those of you readers who have not checked out this fine music please visit his website www.micahdahlberg.com and listen to some great music.

B B Q Who Is You!

The day, Monday June 25th. The place, The Crest. The what, the most awesome bbq ABT has ever seen. The evening started right on time, at 5pm, as per the signage suggested in the green room. However, three stood alone gazing curiously at cold grill. May congratulations go out to those few who know what the meaning of a start time is. Moving right along.
After more of ours trickled into the festivities, the bbq-ers faced a delima. Where will they host this said event. They had only the humble Nantucket at their disposal, but had their eyes set upon the jewel of this pseudo Melrose place, Boca Raton. After making some calls, the ever on time....Paul arrived to the event that he, that day, backed out of to lend us his key and the use of his abode. Gee thanks. Well, once David was finished with his shower time, he arrived to man the grill. By that time we had everything up and rolling. The sun shone bright, but not nearly as bright as our very own Denise. I reached for my sunglasses. Relief.
If only i had the strength to pry her away from Mandy. This was the day i began to wonder....what if...Moving right along.
Lying on the grass, taking in some rays, a cool beverage in your grip, friends all around. You may ask what can be better, nay what can be sweeter. Honey to the buds, perhaps a baby's bottom to the touch, or even a whisp of vanilla to the olfactory? I submit my humble opinion.

David at the grill. He man handled that piece of machinery with the ferocity of a cougar, and the ease of a ballerina. Pumping out patties and dogs like tennis balls out of a self propelling tennis ball machine. Turkey for some, and the red stuff for all those up to the challenge. Our hat goes off to you David.
With food in their stomachs, they grew impatient. Aching to exert their athletic abilities, these seasoned performers leaped for the only plastic item that made sense. A frisbee. The game, three flags up. The stakes, life itself. Beginning with Denise at the helm, such worthy adversaries as Mike, Duke, Darrel, Adam, and more went to battle. Taking the game more seriously than most Darrel jumped quickly ahead with more plucks from the air than anyone else. His strategy....
Sam Adams. It wasn't until later in the game that frustrations ran high. Tired of the excessive wins of both Darrel and Duke, and the humiliation brought forth by Denise and her accomplices on the grassy knoll, the Mike and John decided that it was time to take off the flip-flops. Bring it on.

Sounds like a simple game. Or does it. Sandy. Once thought to be yet another contribution to the grill, and a tasty one at that, this canine posed quite the obstacle during this life or death bout. Some would say as sneaky as her owner Casey. The whereabouts of Niagara Falls is still unknown. For now.
We close our evening with a tribute to one young mans farewell to lonely nights at home while others are out at clubs, and he sits crying, sobbing, screaming because no one likes him, and they are all having fun and why can't i come and i want to be there too, but NOOOOOOOOOOooo, lets leave john....i mean. Happy Birthday wishes to Aaron. 21!
One by one, we leave to continue our lives. But wait. Who is that in the distance. Oh, nice of you to show up Lucas. Taking the term fashionably late to the utmost. Like i was saying, the night has ended, and we all leave. A little happier, a little tired, and a lot thankful that Jeff brought a sack of potatoes. Without you, this bbq would not have been a success. Thank you. And thank all of those who were there in spirit, because they could not make it. Because they were jerks. (James and Joe). Way to go. Look it's a bird, it's a plane, it's a Bosnian.

PS - This blog is brought to you in its entirety by John.

Forty and Crunk...

So, here it is kids the first blog by guest blogger, Jeff G.(give him some credit for this being his first and he is intoxicated). And he says he has blue balls.
MARTHA'S GRAND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
Martha as frisky as a twenty year old at forty teased Jeff and teased him. She looked gorgeous...pictures don't lie.
SO Denise erased this part, so this is second time around, and i am intoxicated so i promise nothing. Lets get to the juice. Many people suprised Martha with gifts: Casey gave her a cane, Denise went out, and I gave her my body, well, she took my body, you know how it is.
Many important guests were in attendance, including cast members of Grease, Staff members, and Joe Martinez an entity of his own(in his batman shirt), of course. Casey and Darrel bought Martha a very nice cake, which she blew out the candles on but doesnt she doesn't remember doing, so here's the proof:

Unfortunately there is no picture evidence of striped shirt man, who Martha played tonsil hockey with. Dr. Jeff claimed to be there, but this was lies i assure you, all lies.
I know you think this was wholesome family night, despite the kissing and ball grabbing, but i assure you a lesson was learned, by Casey. DONT let the drunk birthday girl ride home in your car, even if she says she's O.K. Because the vomit all over your back seat and your boyfriend, tend to disagree. Oh yeah and my hand, and the porch, and the bed, and the bed sheets. (I do like her Cat though). SO all in all it was a good night. Some old people, some new people, but we wish ALL could have been there. YOUR THE ONE THAT I WANT (sorry I had to)

Some how the Bosnian was not at this extravaganza - I wondering if he was hiding...hmmm.

Oh Muddy Waters....

...your mysteries are deep and wide. Well not exactly deep or wide - the Salt River is more narrow and shallow - but hey it was still a good way to spend a Monday. That's right folks the cast members got together and floated down the Salt River.
We packed five ice chest (mostly with beer and water)and lots of sunblock (bring on the spf 70) and headed out to Mesa. I think the roughest part of the journey was just getting all of the tubes situated. And of course getting the ba
by pool ready to play its part as the mini bar - excellent idea I must say Jason.

And we were off... Things were pretty mellow and relaxing until we realized that Jason had fallen behind and he was the one in charge of the mini bar - yikes the alcohol was gone. After rescuing the mini bar we continued to float. Most of the time the trip consisted of sounds like this: "Butts Up" "Ouch a rock" "I've been violated" "Save the sandwiches" "Where's the beer" "Get outta the weeds" "I'm stuck in a whirpool" and of course the all famous "Seniors '07". Poor Jason seemed to spend more time out of his tube then in his tube - we still haven't figured out exactly why this is but we are working on a theory. The other things that simply must be mentioned is the bag of Cheetos that made it all the way down the river. Shanna carried them more then half the way - desperately trying to pawn them off on someone. Finally Denise fell sucker to her pleas and carried them the rest of the way down until she unloaded them on some unsuspecting fellow floaters. No one knows what happened to them after that - but I am sure they have a story to tell. All in all it was a glorious day spent floating and drinking and having a grand old time...
PS The Bosnian did not journey down the river - it is rumored they are afaird of the water. Something like the Gremlin thing I hear.